I’ve noticed in trying to write Suits recaps that I don’t actually understand a lot of what is going on in this show. They talk one step below Gilmore Girls fast and use legal jargon that IDK what most it means. However, I have watched every episode for six seasons and I can ALMOST understand all the words in the opening song! Small victories. #TheGreenbackBoogie
I’d like to introduce you to our new “define terms” section for Suits. You know, like your middle school science book had, so you could learn what an igneous rock was? (You still don’t know what an igneous rock is, do you. Your Earth Science teacher hates you right now.)
Craig Seidel– Guy who controls the character and fitness section of the bar. Claims some company called Velocity stole his technology. Tries to strong arm Harvey into getting it back.
Velocity– See above.
James Palmer– Lawyer for Velocity. Really big ears.
Mike and Harvey decide to use the legal aid clinic to sue Velocity so it looks legitimate. (These guys just can’t help themselves from playing with fire.) The reason Craig wants to sue Velocity is so their stock will tank, but the reason Harvey and Mike want to sue them is so Craig will “sponsor” Mike into the bar exam, using his years of work experience, instead of law school.
Halfway through this very confusing episode:
Husband: “Why doesn’t Mike just go to law school?”
Me: “I don’t think he’s allowed.”
Husband: “But he’s allowed to be sponsored into taking the bar? I don’t think that’s a thing. You should put that in your blog.”
In conclusion, the official Smeltzer family stance here is that this isn’t a real thing. Moving on.
The Legal Aid Clinic
Mike’s boss is very angry with him. I’ve decided to name him Cranky Nathan. Cranky Nathan keeps yelling at Mike, but TBH Mike is lying to him and using his clinic to do something fairly illegal, soooo Cranky Nathan is not entirely wrong. Mike is still nice to Ollie even though he sucks in court and tries to encourage him that he’s still a good lawyer WHILST (Friends joke. I’m hilarious.) he’s researching hidden things to make up an illegal lawsuit. Mike confesses the plan to Ollie. He wants to tell Cranky Nathan and that, my friends, is a bad idea.
Big ears Palmer lets us in on a little secret. Ole Craig lied to us and Harvey is piiiiiiissed. Turns out, he was in on the “stealing” of the technology and got paid $300 million. Apparently, the reason he asked Harvey to start this lawsuit was because the bad guys turned on him, which if you ask me, is kind of an occupational hazard when you work with bad guys. Duh. Harvey blackmails him into pinky promising Mike will be able to take the bar.
The Other Firm News
Louis and Tara are SOOOOOOO cute. I do not find a single thing attractive about Louis Litt, but I’m glad someone else does.
Harvey and Louis are playing so nice together now! Mommy Jessica would be so proud. Or at least she would have been until they got fired by a very important client. Oops.
“The Donna” (digital voice box) is learning to be empathetic, although I’m still not really sure where this storyline is taking us. Wouldn’t it be crazy if the technology that made The Donna is the technology that Velocity stole and IT Ben is in on it?? PLOT. TWIST.