Friends vs. How I Met Your Mother

Let me tell you something I don’t understand. Why does Netflix keep removing shows? Isn’t the internet an infinite amount of space? You’re telling me that you can’t fit the new season of Longmire (which comes out Nov. 17 btw, #getexcited) ANYWHERE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET without removing all 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mother? There HAS to be another way to do this. Listen, I wanted Jim McElwain fired, but I want whoever made the decision to remove Friday Night Lights, One Tree Hill and How I Met Your Mother left on a tarmac Lane Kiffin style.

HIMYM’s departure from Netflix has inspired (probably) the most important blog I’ll ever write: A definitive answer to the age-old debate of which is better… Friends or How I Met Your Mother. I mean, this is on the same scale as nature vs. nurture, people. (Note: Seinfeld is not in the discussion. Do not fight me on this.) If you’ve never seen HIMYM, and you decide not to sleep or go to your job for the next week, you can finish it before they take it down. If you’ve never seen Friends, what is wrong with you you better hurry before some Netflix employee, who thinks he’s omnipotent, decides to take it down too. For the rest of you TV junkies out there, I’ve settled the debate once and for all. Here are our categories:

Location: Obvs, New York City. You would think it’s a tie. But it’s not. The West Village is WAY cooler than the Upper Westside, even if MacLaren’s is slightly better than Central Perk. Agree or disagree, at least we all hate New Jersey.

Winner: Friends

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The Player: Barney Stinson vs. Joey Tribbiani 

While I can appreciate Barney Stinson’s ingenious ways to pick up women (as demonstrated in The Playbook) eventually, it just grosses me out. Sleeping with over 250 women? Spare me. Your boy *can* rock a suit tho. Joey Tribbiani’s no saint, but he’s so endearing (and stupid) that you kind of forgive him for treating women so terribly.

Winner: Friends

Pickup lines:

I’ve never really understood the obsession with “How YOU doin?” It sounds like what I imagine getting hit on outside Yankee Stadium would be like. No thanks. However, “Haaaave you met Ted?” is clever, shows camaraderie between bro’s and is just flat out funny.

Winner: HIMYM

Power Couple: Marshall and Lily vs. Monica and Chandler

Haaaaave you met Matthew Smeltzer? Because he’s basically Marshall IRL. So much that I use the hashtag #themarshalltomylily when I post sappy things about him on social media. Marshall and Lily’s relationship is insanely adorable. They’re best friends, they go through real life struggles and they are 100% #relationshipgoals. Monica and Chandler are best friends too and while they share some sweet moments, their relationship dynamic is just different. Marshall and Lily are a team. Chandler is on Monica’s team and MONICA’S TEAM ALWAYS WINS. Except for right now.

Winner: HIMYM

Watch: My favorite Marshall & Lily Moment A reminder for all of us to never let the love die. Go Hens!

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The It-Girl: Robin vs. Rachel

This isn’t even a contest. Rachel wins in a landslide. I’m not trying to say Robin isn’t a pretty girl, because she is, but let’s not kid ourselves. She’s no Ray Ray Green. Most of Rachel’s outfits are still in style 20 years later, an entire haircut was named after her and furthermore, the mother is SO much better than Robin. Yeah, I said it. And imma say some more. See below.

Winner: Friends

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Will They or Won’t They Couple: Ted and Robin vs. Ross and Rachel

One could argue that Ross and Rachel aren’t the world’s most perfect couple. Now, we can’t blame Ross and Rachel for this, because they are fake people, but I think the writers botched the end of their story. They *should* have shown Ross and Rachel both maturing after Emma was born, setting aside their past fights, and really growing into two people who have changed and want to be with each other. Instead, they were both still crazy immature and the writers shoved an ending in our face in like 5 minutes during the finale.

However, NOTHING the Friends writers did will ever compare to the insanity that HIMYM brought. I mean, WHO am I even supposed to be rooting for? Ted and Robin? Barney and Robin? Ted and the mother? The poor mother is supposedly the love of Ted’s life, but (spoiler alert) turns out she’s dead and he never stopped loving Robin! What the heck kind of show is this?!?!? The mother is literally my favorite character on HIMYM. I waited freaking 8 seasons to see her face and when I did, I was so happy, I cried. Do you know why? Because they spent 8 seasons building her up to near perfection and she did not disappoint in ANY way. She was flawless. She was perfect for Ted. He waited and waited and WAITED for her and then poof, she’s gone and years later he’s still in love with Robin? AFTER Robin chose Barney over Ted and AFTER she realizes she made a dumb decision (because, hello. 250 women.) THEN she wants Ted? After everything she put him through? No. I can’t. It’s just not right.

Everyone on the internet right now thinks Ross was too controlling over Rachel, because: #feminism, but I need some social justice warriors on this Ted and Robin ending. It’s terrible and I’m still mad about it. RIP Tracy. I will always love you, even if your savage husband doesn’t.

Winner: Friends

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Rewatchability: 

Both shows are addicting in their own way. The creativity of the jokes on HIMYM is unparalleled. It’s an incredibly well written show, but the jokes on Friends just never get old. On the 7th million rewatch, it’s just as hilarious and bonus: there’s a quote for every single life situation ever. I know this because I say them every day and people stare at me.

Winner: Friends

Life Lessons:

“So no one told you life was gonna be this way…” clap clap clap clap. Watching Friends teaches you that it’s ok if you don’t have life figured out. They deal with real issues but in a light hearted comical way. I feel like parts of HIMYM take a much more serious approach. The entire story was about Ted being stuck in a season of life that he desperately wanted to be over. They deal with waiting for a spouse and kids, losing a parent, infertility, career failures, divorce. Watching HIMYM is about learning to be happy in the waiting and knowing that someday you’ll realize those “waiting” times were a very important part of your life. You just didn’t see it because you were in too much of a hurry to get somewhere else.

Winner: HIMYM

Final Score: Friends 5, HIMYM 3

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One thought on “Friends vs. How I Met Your Mother

  1. This is a well written blog by a person who watches too much television. Trust me I know because I have a photo on her watching Sesame Street sitting up by herself when she was 7 months old.
    As a person who has offered constructive criticism to her for many years, allow me to point out that when the “Friends” song is quoted with corresponding “claps,” one “clap” is missing. How can this be possible from someone who has every episode memorized??
    The writer has an excellent idea of leaving the omnipotent Netflix decision makers on the tarmac. Why did they take off POIROT? It’s a classic that should always remain available! #lovemama

    Like

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