1) How in this world did Moose get shot from literally 5 feet away and LIVE? #Melodrama. But don’t worry, Jughead covered their tracks with the terrible aim joke. Crying laughing emoji.
2) What’s the difference in a ski mask and a black hood? I hate to point out the obvious, Mr. Murderer, but they look exactly the same. Is it just that one comes with precut eye holes and you had to cut yours out at home yourself? I legitimately don’t get it.
3) Was it just the camera angle or is Archie a whole head taller than Veronica’s dad?
4) Is Polly really having twins? Has a doctor confirmed this? Or are we just taking Nana’s gypsy blood word for it.
5) Could they not come up with slightly more inventive newspaper names? “Blue and Gold” “Red and Black”…c’mon guys. Let’s at least TRY to be creative.
6) Does Hermione Lodge love Hiram or is she mostly terrified of what he’ll do to her if she turns against him?
7) Why does the entire set of Riverdale always look foggy? Do they use a fog machine to achieve this?
8) Does Toni like Jughead? Is Betty jealous of Toni? (These are rhetorical questions because the answer is a total, duh.)
9) Is Veronica’s dad trying to get Archie killed by urging him to confront the hooded man?! That’s a high price to pay just for being taller than you, Padre.
10) Is everyone ok from that fake out of Kevin getting stabbed??? Because my heart rate still has not returned to normal.
P.S. Shoutout to the man in the black hood for returning Luke Perry’s wallet! Thanks bro.