The Masters (hallowed be thy name) starts tomorrow. Now, I personally love golf, so I am downright giddy for the major season to begin, but I know most of you kids out there think golf is boring. I’m here to convince you that professional golf-ERS are FAR from boring. Don’t believe me? Watch this 2 minute recap of a spring break trip they took last year and documented all over social media: #SB2K16
Now that you know golf-ERS aren’t boring, I’ve compiled a list of need-to-know basics as well as social media handles to liven up your Masters experience. You’re welcome.
The Golden Child: Jordan Spieth
Jordo (as I affectionately call him) put two in the water last year at Augusta and it cost him back to back green jackets. TBH, I’m still not over it. I’m sure the announcers will force us to relive it through relentless flashbacks and I will probably cry.
The Golden Child’s Best Friend: Justin Thomas
Poor JT won back to back tournaments in Hawaii this year and is still being cast as Robin to Jordo’s Batman. If he’s in contention, you’ll most certainly hear about their friendship.
The Party Boy: Dustin Johnson
You don’t father two of Paulina Gretzky’s children by being a bore. DJ is the Vegas favorite to win The Masters and if he golfed as hard as he parties, you’d all be rich.
But really, you should just follow Paulina: paulinagretzky. (You HAVE to watch the video they made to “Single Ladies” after they got engaged. Omg.)
The Trendsetter: Rickie Fowler
High tops. Flat billed hats. Tattoos. The stuffy old golf world hates Slick Rick. I happen to adore him and if he wins ANY major this year, I will definitely cry. He’s also the best social media follow in all of golf.
The Redneck: Bubba Watson
Bubba has recently started playing with bright highlighter colored golf balls. (I wish this was a joke.) He has an instagram, but his best social media presence is the #PrayforTedScott hashtag that inevitably pops up when he loses his temper with his caddie.
The Irishman: Rory McIlroy
If Rory-with-the-beautiful-accent can win The Masters he’ll earn the career grand slam at the ripe young age of 27. He’s also engaged to a former PGA of America employee so all you ladies out there need to get you a job working golf tournaments. THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU ALL.
The Lefty: Phil Mickelson
PHIIIILLLLL (as I affectionately call him) is my favorite golfer EVER (#fangirl) and he’s in pursuit of his fourth green jacket at the ripe young age of 46. Also, the twitter dot com likes to make fun of him for an excessive gambling problem, but I refuse to believe this is true. Heart emoji.
Good ole Tiger Woods isn’t playing in The Masters this year and it appears he’s dying a slow and painful golf death. A bunch of people are upset about this, but I’m not one of them. I’ve always been more of a Phil girl than a Tiger girl anyway. PHIIIIILLLLLL.
One Last Note:
Golf Twitter is a gift from above. If you like ridiculous gifs, making fun of people and an overwhelming amount of inside jokes, these twitter accounts are for you. Some of the best to follow are: @nolayingup, @kyleportercbs, @shanebacon, @Skratch.
Or you can just follow me (@amyrenee825) because I’ll be retweeting everything these guys say anyway. So! While you watch The Masters, take this opportunity to get your social media in order because it won’t be long until #SB2K17… A tradition unlike any other.