Oh, Lehzen. SMH. I know typically kings and queens have separate bed chambers but literally, the first day Victoria’s back from her honeymoon, you don’t even THINK to knock on the door?! Lehzen brings us some hilarious comedic relief this episode by walking in on the newlyweds and giving “advice” on 1840’s birth control. I literally laughed out loud when Victoria jumped up and down 10 times hoping she wouldn’t get pregnant. No wonder she ended up with 9 children. (All the crying laughing emojis.)
“The Queen’s Husband”
Albert and Victoria have been married like 3 days and Albert starts talking about having babies. Whoa, man. Back up. Victoria goes off to “work” fulfilling her daily duties as queen, while Albert becomes a stay-at-home-husband and he hates it. He’s in charge of thank you notes for the wedding presents. This is not going well. He tells Victoria he wants to find a place he belongs, a place he has earned. Plus, can we cut the guy some slack? He’s having culture shock. People draw him as a sausage! (C’mon guys. Is that the best German stereotype you could come up with? Nothing about Oktoberfest? I expected more from you.)
Ernest & Harriett
Ernest decides to stay in England and start hitting on married women. A step up from prostitutes, but this will not end well. Harriett thinks Ernest puts on a bad boy facade but secretly he has a heart of gold. A Tim Riggins if you will. (Muah.)
The only problem is, HE’S ACTUALLY A BAD GUY HARRIETT AND WHERE IS YOUR HUSBAND?? Harriett thinks they’re just casually flirting, but Ernest acts like he’s in love. Albert tells Ernest he needs to go back home and he actually seems sad! Is this guy yanking our chain? Either way, Harriett falls for it. She “accidentally” drops her handkerchief for Ernest to keep which is basically the original 19th century Tinder. Harriett totally just swiped right.
Europe is always setting trends. You know, with British Vogue and Anti-Slavery meetings. Victoria can’t get involved in the anti-slavery convention because she’s the sovereign and Lord M taught her well. (Miss you, boo.) The protocols prohibit her from interference but they do not prohibit Albert. He decides to give a speech. Albert and his secretary finally bond over a bizarre quoting of Shakespeare and translating his speech from German to English. Albert gets a standing O for his speech and England seems to have accepted the German sausage! I mean, once you get the slow clap from a runaway slave, you’ve officially made it, bruh.
I checked the IMDB. I knew he wouldn’t be in this episode, but still when they would mention his name or show someone writing a letter, then sloooooowly pan up to their face I was like, could it be him?!?! We’ve already taken a few liberties with history right? (Especially in this blog.) Can’t we just throw it all out the window and bring Lord M back? I need to get some Social Justice Warriors from Twitter on this cause. #LordMMatters!!