Victoria, Ep. 4: “The Clockwork Prince” Recap

Elementary School

Albert and Victoria’s relationship begins similar to an elementary school love. There’s some fighting, (figurative) hair pulling and a lot of chasing each other around. He loves art and he ROCKS at playing the piano. They play a duet (which he uses to get all up on her) and he tells Victoria she’s very talented but reprimands her for not practicing enough. (Too honest, bro. Facepalm.) Victoria gets all pissed, but the next day she practices the piano. Hmm.

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Lord M is super suspect of Albert, thinking he only wants to marry Victoria for the crown. (We see right through you, Lord M.) Albert thinks he’s on a “fool’s errand” trying to get this chick to propose to him since they can’t get along. He has a good heart, with concern for the poor and appreciation for the dude who invented lick-able stamps. He stands up to Victoria and she doesn’t like it… but… she likes it. You know what I mean? #women

The Dance

Lord M gives Victoria flowers (again) and she wears them on her boobs. (Why is this a thing? I know elastic hasn’t been invented yet but surely there’s a way to tie these on her wrist.) Lord M wants to ask Victoria to waltz with him but it gets SUPES AWK when Albert asks instead. I learned at the Dancing with the Stars Tour (which was awesome by the way) that the waltz was super scandalous when it first came out because of how close the men and women stand to each other. CLEARLY, those dudes were correct because this is the most sensual 1800’s dance I’ve ever seen. Lord M is hella jealous.

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Albert tells Victoria that her “corsage” (aka flowers on her boobs) reminds him of his dead mother. Victoria is touched by his sentiment and gives them to him to remember his mother. BRUH. Albert then pulls a knife out of his boot and SLICES A HOLE in his shirt to put the flowers next to his heart!!! What. A. Man. Lord M is pissed. THOSE WERE HIS FLOWERS, HELLO.

The Forest

Victoria decides to take everyone to Windsor because Albert likes trees. While there, she takes an interest in learning about the castle’s paintings to impress him. (I mean, are you really a 20 year old girl if you don’t take up a new hobby to impress a guy?) Lord M tries to bail on dinner, but ends up staying as a third wheel. Sad!

Albert and Victoria frolic in the woods. He takes care of Dash’s broken leg- with said pocket knife and a ripped shirt again (seriously, who is this guy?) but they end up fighting about Melbourne. Their relationship is like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Every time they get close to getting along they end up in a dramatic, overblown fight. Ah, young love.

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Will you marry me?

Albert’s mad and plans to leave. Victoria wants to ask him to marry her, but she’s afraid he’ll say no. (PSA: Please don’t ask someone to marry you if you don’t already know their answer. We will grant an exception if you’re a queen in 1839.) Lord M mutters under his breath: “Only a fool would turn you away, ma’am.” YOU’RE RIPPING MY HEART OUT AND STOMPING ALL OVER IT.

Victoria gets some more dead-mom-flowers for her hair and asks Albert to marry her. It’s REALLY sweet. He says he’ll only answer if she agrees to kiss him. Oh, you little artists are always so romantic. She agrees, and they have this precious exchange:

A: “For me, this is not a marriage of convenience.”

V: “No… I think it will be a marriage of inconvenience.”

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